If I Can't Love Her
by TheFlamesAreGettingHigher
Summary: When James falls in "love," Logan swears to help him, but what might come out of the mess of emotions they share? Eventual Jagan. Rated for chapters to come.
1. Chapter 1

"I'm sorry, James. I don't want to go out with you."

"But, Kirsten..."

"No. I'll see you tomorrow."

As Kirsten left the pool area into the Palm Woods, James sighed and sat on his favorite chair. He had been asking Kirsten out every day for the last week, and she said no every time. He just had to get her to say yes.

He met Kirsten at a Broadway Karaoke club last Saturday night. He had just sung "If I Can't Love Her" from Beauty and the Beast. It was always important to him to have a nice selection of solos to sing whenever auditioning for anything, and he needed to test out his new favorite.

He got lots of applause, but he had been hoping for more. That made him kind of pissed. He decided to stick around for a while to see how they judged other people's performances. That's when he saw her. Her dark skin was perfectly highlighted by the white dress she wore. She did look nervous, but James wasn't sure why. As soon as she stepped on the stage, her presence made itself known. James had never seen that kind of confidence on stage before.

He was intrigued. How could her delicious body possibly radiate the kind of self-assurance he was seeing. It didn't make sense to him. It took James a year to be comfortable on that stage, and he was sure he had never seen her here before.

That was when the host announced her song: "Your Daddy's Son" from Ragtime.

James couldn't take his eyes away.

_Daddy played piano,_  
_Played it very well._  
_Music from those hands could_  
_Catch you like a spell._  
_He could make you love him_  
_'Fore the tune was done._  
_You have your daddy's hands._  
_You are your daddy's son._

James was in love. He knew it then and there. Her voice was his puppet master. The notes were the strings tied to his heart and soul.

_Couldn't hear no music,_  
_Couldn't see no light._  
_Mama, she was frightened,_  
_Crazy from the fright._  
_Tears without no comfort,_  
_Screams without no sound._  
_Only darkness and pain,_  
_The anger and pain,_  
_The blood and the pain!_  
_I buried my heart in the ground!_  
_In the ground-_  
_When I buried you in the ground._

James cried. He cried without shame; he wasn't the only one.

_Daddy played piano._  
_Bet he's playin' still._  
_Mama can't forget him._  
_Don't suppose I will._  
_God wants no excuses._  
_I have only one:_  
_You had your daddy's hands._  
_Forgive me._  
_You were your daddy's son._

James stood, and he cheered. He cheered because he couldn't think of anyone else better deserving of applause at that moment, not even himself. He just had know her.

Unfortunately, he could find her afterward. She left almost immediately, so James decided to go home himself. The next day, he saw her reading by the pool.

He couldn't get her out of his head, and he couldn't believe she didn't want to date him. How could something like this happen?

"James?"

He turned his head to look in front of him.

"Hey, Logan."

"What's wrong?"

"It's Kirsten."

Logan sighed, "Do you want some help?"

"Don't you have enough girl trouble?"

"No, actually. Camille and I just got back together. I think it's for good this time," Logan said as he sat next to James.

"Congrats, buddy."

He elbowed Logan's arm.

"Thanks. Now, onto your problems."


	2. Chapter 2

"She's just too good for me."

James and Logan had gone up to their room in order to hide from further shame. James was laying facedown on the coach, and Logan was doing the dishes. He always said he liked to help out Mama Knight. Truthfully, he just did chores when he was thinking deeply.

"Well, what have you said to her so far?"

"What do you mean?"

"What have you said? You keep roving on and on about how she's a goddess with the voice of warm honey mixed with sunlight. What have you told her about that?"

James blushed, but Logan couldn't see it. He threw a blanket over the top half of his body just to make sure before he answered.

"I haven't really. I just said that I saw her at the Karaoke bar and that I wanted to go out with her."

"There you go! She doesn't not like you; She just thinks you're a stalker!"

Logan's voice sounded nearer to James, but he couldn't see him.

"You just have to talk to her. That way, she'll know you aren't a stalker or a murderer or a rapist," Logan said.

"How do I do that?"

That was when James felt the blanket fly off of his body. He turned toward Logan, and waited for his answer.

"You buy her a smoothie!"


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, James was sitting by the pool with two fresh mango smoothies. He was wearing swim trunks and a shirt without sleeves. Logan had said that James needed to reel her in with his body before he kept her entranced with his mind. At least, that's what he thought Logan had said most of the time. The rest of the time, Logan was going on and on about how he should talk to her. James only got one thing out of it: Be sexy, then be charming.

Logan and Camille were sitting directly across the pool in case James needed help. However, without Kirsten being there, they had started to make out again. James didn't know what Logan saw in Camille. She was too soft. Whenever James watched them kissing, (which he only did because he didn't have a steady girlfriend and he was always looking for tips on new techniques) Logan seemed to be doing all of the work. James was entranced by his tonguework.

_Has Logan been streching his mouth?_

James couldn't stop looking.

"James?"

He jumped.

"Kirsten! Want a smoothie? It's fresh!"

That was when James had finally gotten a proper look at her. She wasn't dressed for the pool. She was probably just passing through the pool to go out. She was wearing a very nice shirt that James could tell was not cheap, but he had to take off points for the short-shorts. Kirsten needed to put on some pants. She looked like she had forgotten or something.

"I'm sorry. I was just going to my record label's studio to record a new song. I'm a little busy."

James looked over to Logan and Camille. They had stopped when they noticed Kirsten, and Camille was freaking out. All James saw was Logan giving him the signal.

James stood up, and he took off his shirt. His abs glistened with sweat from being in the sun all morning, and his pecs were impeccable. That was his secret weapon. It had been Logan's idea. Logan knew no girl could resist James' shirtless body.

"Wow. I did not see those coming." Kirsten pointed at his abs.

"I work out. A lot."

"I can tell."

James smiled.

"Listen," said Kirsten, "I have to go right now."

James lost his smile.

"However, I'm free tonight."

He found it.

"I'll see you at seven."

She walked away with her smoothie, and James was speechless. He did it! Kirsten was going out with him! He looked over at Logan. He was ecstatic. He was even jumping up and down. James couldn't think of anything funnier. That was when Camille went back to kissing him.

James dismissed the thoughts of Logan when he realized he still needed him. He was going on a date with Kirsten tonight!


	4. Chapter 4

"What do I do?"

James had run upstairs freaking out. Half of his closet was already on the floor, and he was still going at it.

"You know, you could always cancel," said Camille.

Logan had followed right after, and Camille followed Logan. Logan was laying down on James's bed while Camille sat on Carlos's.

James turned around.

"Are you mad?"

Logan and James both turned to her. Logan had a questioning look on his face, but James looked like he was about to draw a gun.

"What?" Camille asked. "This looks like it's causing James a lot of stress, and stress can make your hair fall out! Especially with the amount of hair products be puts in his hair! Plus, people with thin hair are more likely to go bald."

"Bald?"

James screamed and ran to the bathroom, slamming and locking the door. Logan turned his head toward Camille.

"Really?" he asked.

"What? It's true!"

Logan sighed and got up from James' bed. He walked over to the door of the bathroom and knocked.

"Go away! Must salvage hair!"

Camille walked up behind Logan and hugged him.

"I'm sorry. I guess I don't know when to keep my mouth shut, but I honestly thought he was too stressed."

"It's okay. You just don't know James like I do. Never mention hair loss in front of him unless it is that of his enemies."

"Silly me."

Logan sighed and held on to his girlfriend. He didn't know how he was going to get James out of this mess. What else could go wrong?

That was when Carlos burst through the door.

"I had sex!"


	5. Chapter 5

James flew out of the doorway.

"What?"

"Okay," said Camille, "Now, I really think I should go."

She left, and Logan ushered the other two boys to the coach while he sat on a chair.

"Okay," Logan said calmly, "What do you mean by 'I had sex?'"

"Do I have to draw you a diagram?" Carlos asked.

"No," said James, "We're good on the how. Who did you have sex with? Where? When?"

"You know that new girl?"

"Kirsten?"

"No! The other new one!"

"The blonde with the fat lips and breast surgery?" asked Logan.

"Her," Carlos sighed. He looked like he was about to melt into the coach.

Logan could tell that James looked conflicted about something. He couldn't tell about what though. Carlos just lost his virginity. James should be happy. Logan should be happy. Why weren't they?

"Where?" asked James. He was staring straight ahead.

"The beach," said Carlos. He was in a daze now. "I think I still have sand all over my ass."

"That's nice, Carlos," said Logan. He was kind of grossed out, but he didn't know why. He didn't think sand on his ass would be that uncomfortable.

"When?" James still seemed to be in a trance, but the questions kept pouring out of him.

"About an hour ago. We just got back."

That confused Logan. "You can't drive."

Carlos looked Logan in the eyes. "She drives a convertible."

"Wow," they all said.

"Do you feel different?" asked Logan.

"I don't know," he replied.

There was a pretty long silence. Logan could see that Carlos was coming to terms with his newfound sexuality, but what he was most interested in was James. He now had a look of horror on his face. Logan couldn't even fathom what was going on underneath all that very thin hair.

"James?"

"Kirsten..."

"James," said Logan. He went over to James. Logan bent down on one knee and put his hands on James' shoulders. "What's wrong?"

"What if Kirsten wants to have sex?"

Logan was dumbfounded. "Seriously?"


	6. Chapter 6

_What am I going to do? I'm not ready for this._

"James."

_What would we even do? How exactly do you do it?_

"James? Carlos, go to your room. I need to help James."

_I mean, I know you sort of thrust in, but what do you do after that?_

"James!"

"What?"

James was literally frightened for his life. What if Kirsten wanted to go that far with him? He was not ready for anything like that to happen. Plus, what about pregnancy or STI's?

"James! Snap out of it!"

James knew Logan meant business. He looked genuinely concerned for his well-being.

_How did I get lucky enough to find a friend as good as Logan?_

"James! If you loved me, you'd listen to me!"

"What?" asked James. He couldn't even comprehend Logan's words. James needed help. Everything he had ever done was to make everyone think he was hot stuff, but he didn't even know what kind of stuff he was.

Logan put his hands on both sides of James's face and pulled him close. Their noses were almost touching. James could smell Logan.

_Hollister_

James loved Hollister. If were to ever go back in time and turn out not to be a very famous singer, he would work at Hollister. He liked the idea of working shirtless next to good-smelling people.

"James!"

That one woke him up.

"Logan!" James yelled to snap himself out of it.

"What's wrong, Jamie?"

Logan had his puppy dog eyes on. James could cry. He was about to anyway.

"I don't know, Logie."

"What has you all worked up?"

"I just don't know how long I can keep up this charade. I don't know how long my cool will last before I lose it. What if Kirsten wants to do something on our date. I'm just not sure I'm ready for that."

"You don't have to do anything you aren't comfortable with. We're family. We'll love you no matter what."

_Logan knows all the right words._

"What if I'm bad in bed?"

"What if Carlos was bad on the beach?"

They chuckled. Their faces were still a centimeter away.

James sniffled, "Have you ever... with Camille?"

Logan moved himself so that he was sitting right beside James. Their hands were together, a symbol of their brotherly love.

"No."

"Have you ever thought about it?"

"Yeah, but sex isn't something I take lightly. I'm sure Carlos will be freaking out eventually."

"I don't want to have sex with Kirsten."

Logan laughed, "You don't even know if she wants that. Do you?"

"No."

"Exactly. Just wait, you'll be ready someday, and I'm positive you'll be fantastic."

"Really?"

"I've seen the way you dance with girls in clubs. Really."

"Thanks, Logie."

"No problem, Jamie."


	7. Chapter 7

"How about this shirt?" James asked.

James was trying on clothes for Logan and Carlos, but only Logan was paying attention. Carlos was still daydreaming. James was at the end of the line, almost all of his clothes were on the floor. He was currently wearing skinny jeans and a yellow and blue t-shirt.

"Seriously?" asked Logan. "You've been stressing out for hours, and you'd settle for a t-shirt?"

James sighed, "No."

"Maybe you should just go shower. I'll find you something."

"Alright."

James left, and Logan slumped on James's bed next to Carlos on his own bed.

"Where'd James go?" asked Carlos who had just noticed James' departure.

"He went to take a shower," Logan answered.

"Oh," Carlos said. "What did he decide to wear?"

That made Logan a little confused. "He didn't. I said I'd pick something out for him. I know you just went through a lot, but why are you being so spacey? Usually, you only get a little spacey."

"It's just that I kinda jumped way ahead of all of you." admitted Carlos, blushing. "You haven't had sex, and you just saw James. He is nowhere near ready to do it."

"First off, are you going to be blushing on a regular basis now?" Carlos blushed harder. "Second off, there's Kendall."

"But Kendall's never done it! All he's gotten is one hand job. You're all virgins."

"You know, Jo could have sex with Kendall. We all know he wants to."

"But Jo is back home this week."

"She is this week. What? Do you think she'll never come back?"

"It's possible."

"Anything's possible."

"Seuss!"

"Carlos!"

"What? James's last song was from Seussical!"

"I know, but listen to me."

Carlos looked seriously at Logan. Logan knew he only had a couple of minutes before he went back to vivid beach flashbacks.

"You are going to be fine," he said, "But if you feel the need to freak out, talk to that girl. I'm sure she'll be there for you. She did take your virginity."

Carlos sighed, "That's true."

Just then, they heard the shower shut off. Logan jumped.

"Quick! What should James wear?"

"Well," said Carlos as he sat up, "What color do you think he looks good in?"

"He is awesome in red," admitted Logan.

"Then it's simple," said Carlos.

"What's simple?"

"Have him wear that," he said. Carlos pointed the only things left in his closet: a red dress shirt and black dress pants.

"How did I not see that?" asked Logan as Carlos picked the clothes from James' closet.

"Not see what?" asked James.

He came into the room wearing just a towel around his waist. Logan's breath quickened. The towel barely reached his knees, and it was very form-fitting.

"Your outfit for the evening," said Carlos as he presented to James his clothes.

"Thanks," said James.

James walked over in front of Carlos with his back to Logan.

_I wonder what his ass looks like._

That was when the towel dropped.

_So that's what it looks like!_

Carlos' eyes darted up and down quickly, and he blushed as he turned away.

"Wow," Carlos said.

"Ehh," said James, "It's not like neither of you have seen that before."

Logan was hypnotized. He needed to start working out.

James walked back to the bathroom, but Logan never saw more than his ass.

_So close._

Carlos went back to his bed and said, "Wow."

"Yeah."

"I've seen way too many naked people today."


	8. Chapter 8

"So, you have a band?"

"Yeah, it's me and my friends. We're called Big Time Rush."

Kirsten and James had just had dinner at Ché Fancè, and now they were taking a walk down the block. James wasn't entirely sure about how they were going to work out. She seemed friendly enough, but there was no longer a spark. It was weird.

"What do you do?" asked James.

"I like singing. I used to sing on Broadway, but there was an agent who saw me and thought I'd be better here in Hollywood as an actress."

"That's cool," said James, "It must be great to have an agent. I know that my friend's girlfriend Camille doesn't, and she always has to find her own auditions for everything."

"Wow," she said, "That would be so hard..."

Just then, they found themselves in front of the same karaoke club James had first met Kirsten in.

"Hey," she said, "I sang here a week ago. Have you ever been here?"

"Actually, this was the first place I'd ever seen you. I come here really often. I sang here right before you did last week."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh."

"Wow."

There it was again. James couldn't understand it, but they kept coming together and pulling apart. They would click one minute and have awkward silences the next. How did James not see this?

"You want to go in?" she asked.

"Sure."

It was a slow night, so James didn't think it would be a problem to get up on stage. He never imagined that they would be shuffled on the moment they got there. They weren't even allowed to pick a song: the manager already had one for them. That made James remember why he never comes in on slow days. The manager always had him sing. One time, James had to sing thirteen straight solos.

"Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have one of our regulars, James Diamond," the manager announced. The little amount of people applauded. "Also, we have a new favorite, Kirsten Kelli"

There was a little more applause. James grimaced.

"They will be singing 'As Long as You're Mine' from Wicked."

"Here goes nothing," Kirsten said.

The music started.

_KISS ME TOO FIERCELY_  
_HOLD ME TOO TIGHT_  
_I NEED HELP BELIEVING_  
_YOU'RE WITH ME TONIGHT_  
_MY WILDEST DREAMINGS_  
_COULD NOT FORESEE_  
_LYING BESIDE YOU_  
_WITH YOU WANTING ME_

James Gulped._ Here goes nothing. _

_MAYBE I'M BRAINLESS_  
_MAYBE I'M WISE_  
_BUT YOU'VE GOT ME SEEING_  
_THROUGH DIFFERENT EYES_  
_SOMEHOW I'VE FALLEN_  
_UNDER YOUR SPELL_  
_AND SOMEHOW I'M FEELING_  
_IT'S "UP" THAT I FELL ..._

_You know, I really don't feel like this. I wish I could feel like Logan with Camille. He always seems so happy. _

_JUST FOR THIS MOMENT_  
_AS LONG AS YOU'RE MINE_  
_COME BE HOW YOU WANT TO _  
_AND SEE HOW BRIGHT WE SHINE_  
_BORROW THE MOONLIGHT_  
_UNTIL IT IS THROUGH_  
_AND KNOW I'LL BE HERE HOLDING YOU_  
_AS LONG AS YOU'RE MINE..._

_Kirsten's just not sincere when she sings; she's an actress. She doesn't really feel this way. _

_WHAT IS IT?_

_Logan loves me. _

_IT'S JUST - FOR THE FIRST TIME, I FEEL... WICKED._


	9. Chapter 9

James got back to 2J a couple of hours later. He had spent the time in between his confusing duet with Kirsten and his return by making out with her.

_Last time I ever eat eel without packing breath mints!_

He needed to talk with Logan about all of this. He wasn't sure how he felt about Kirsten, and he also didn't know if he was sending her mixed signals by making out with her for two hours.

He walked into the living room, but there was nobody in there. He walked into his and Carlos's room, and he found Carlos laying on his bed listening to music.

"Hey," Carlos said.

"Hey," James returned, "Where's Logan?"

"I don't know," said Carlos, "Check his room."

"Alright," James said.

He walked to Logan and Kendall's room, and he was about to knock when Logan came through the front door. James turned toward him.

"Hey, Logan. Can we talk?"

"Sure thing. Let's go into my room; I have to get something."

Carlos came out of his and James' room at the same time, and he began walking toward them.

"Guys, do you know where my good headphones are? I hate these old ones."

"Let's look in here," said Logan.

Logan passed James and Carlos and opened the door.

They all froze as they watched Kendall completely naked on his bed jacking off.

Kendall stopped, his eyes wide with shock.

"Whoa!" he shouted.

"Umm," stuttered Logan. Carlos reached around Logan and slammed the door.

James and Logan were still taken aback. Carlos was the only normal one. He walked back to his room, muttering.

"Yep, way too many naked people."


	10. Chapter 10

"Wow," said Logan as he sat down on a chair in the living room.

"Yeah, wow," said James as he did the same thing on the coach.

"That was..."

_Awkward_

"Awkward?"

"Yeah, and..."

_Embarrassing_

"Embarrassing?"

"Yeah, and..."

"Kinda funny?"

_Are you kidding, absolutely hilarious_!

"Logan?"

"What?" Logan just realized he had been spacing.

"You were spacing."

"Oh."

"Have you been having sex?"

"What?" asked Logan. He was shocked.

"Well, that's what happened to Carlos. He started having sex, and all the sudden he couldn't focus."

"Oh," Logan said, relieved, "No, but who knows?"

"So, was it?"

"Was what, what?"

"Seeing Kendall in your room right now?"

"Was seeing Kendall in my room right now what?"

"Was seeing Kendall in your room right now kinda funny?"

"I already said it was hilarious."

"No you didn't."

"Wow, maybe I have been having sex..."

They laughed, and eventually James laid down on the coach.

When they finally stopped, James knew he had to say something, but he didn't know how Logan would react. He did anyway.

"Logan," he said really softly.

"Yeah?" Logan asked.

"Did you see Kendall's dick?"

"There wasn't much to see!"

They burst out into laughter again.

"Oh my gosh," James half-laughed-half-whispered, "What was it? Four inches?"

"I'm bigger than that soft!" Logan said in the same half-laugh-half-whisper.

"Oh, Logan," said James in a suggestive tone, rising from the coach.

"Lay down, perv."

"Whatever you say, Doctor."

"You seriously make me reconsider my field of study just because of the thought of dealing with more people like you every day."

"You love me, and you know it."

"I know."

They laughed some more.

They laughed even harder when Kendall came out of their room, fully clothed and blushing.

Kendall sat down on the other part of the coach, and he put his folded his hands on his lap.

"So," Kendall said.

"Wow," said James as he sat up, "It only took you that long to 'finish up?'"

He demonstrated the proper use of air quotes in an awkward situation. Kendall blushed harder, and he looked down at his knees.

"No..."

"What do you mean, 'No?'" asked James.

"Don't tell me that you let us come between you and coming," Logan barely managed to get out. He could barely remain sitting on his chair because he was almost doubled over with the pain of containing his laughter.

"Well, yeah. It just didn't feel right afterward."

James was still laughing, but he managed to calm himself enough to speak rationally.

"In that case, I'm sorry. Next time you decide to get all naked and heated and into it, make sure nobody else is in the apartment!"

"I know!' admitted Kendall, "I guess I'm just really..."

"Horny?" giggled Logan.

"Yeah!" shouted Kendall.

Logan got quite, and James sobered up the rest of the way.

"Whenever you two realize how hard it is to be willing to have sex but not to have anybody willing to do it with you, come find me. Until then, fuck off!"

Kendall stormed back to his and Logan's room. James and Logan turned to face each other. Logan spoke first.

"I'm guessing it's very hard?"

"Not that you'd tell from just seeing it."


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note - Hey, I know I don't usually talk directly to anyone who reads my stories, but I just wanted to let you know how awesome it is to actually receive positive feedback for my writing. Thank you so much! You really make me feel special!**

**James' thoughts - Bold**

**Logan's thoughts - **_Italicized_

**Thoughts Logan and James are having at the exact same time -_ (Bold/Italiciz_****_ed_**_**/In** __**Parenthesis****)**__  
_

_

* * *

_"Jamie?" Logan whispered.

"Yeah, Logie?" James whispered back.

"Thanks for letting me sleep your bed tonight."

"No problem."

Kendall, it turns out, had locked the door to Kendall and Logan's room. Apparently, he was offended by what James and Logan had said afterward. They had already resolved to apologize in the morning. If only they could sleep with all of Carlos's snoring in the background.

"Jamie?"

_Why do I always turn into such a little girl whenever I'm whispering to someone?_

"Yeah, Logie?"

**I really like when he calls me Jamie.**

"How did your date with Kirsten go?"

**Oh, boy...**

"It went okay."

"What's wrong?"

"I feel like we just don't click all the time. I mean, sometimes we do, but others we don't."

_Sounds like me and Camille._

"Well, do you like her?"

"I guess; I just wish talking to her was as easy as talking to you, Logie."

_**(If only...)  
**_

"Well, why don't we go on a date?" proposed Logan.

**...**

"Well, there are a couple things wrong with that."

"Like what?"

"Well, you're a guy, and I'm a guy, and biologically-"

"On a double date, moron!" Logan shout-whispered. They could still hear Carlos's snoring from the bed next to them.

"Oh..." said James.

"That way, I could talk you through the rough spots."

"I guess that'd be cool."

"Cool."

"Yeah."

Then, there was silence.

_**(I wonder what our first date will be like...)**_


	12. Chapter 12

"...and then, I say to the pirate, 'Aaaarn'tcha gonna miss your flight?'"

Camille, Kirsten, James, and Logan all laughed at Logan's joke.

"You know," said Kirsten, "That's the funniest pirate joke I've heard in a long time. Pirate themed comedy is so under-appreciated."

"You should hear his one about the robots working the steering wheel!" laughed James. He had to say, a picnic at the park with Logan was the best idea Logan had ever had.

"Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah! It goes like this... Once, there was this-"

"Ice cream!" yelled the ice cream man.

"Oh!" said Kirsten, "Let's get some ice cream!"

"Sure."

"Sounds good."

"Alright."

Camille and Kirsten stood up.

"Don't worry," Camille assured them, "We've got it. You two stay here, and we'll be right back."

The girls left, and Logan scooted over to where James was sitting.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

"Dude," said James, "Thank you so much for setting this up! I'm having the best time!"

Logan chuckled.

"No, seriously. Thank you."

"Hey, no problem. I'd do anything to make you smile like that."

That only made James smile more. He put his hand on Logan's shoulder.

"Really, this is awesome. Thank you."

James hugged Logan, and the embrace gave him butterflies. There was something about hugging Logan in the warm sunlight with Logan's slight muscles pressed against James's more impressive ones that made James want to never let go. Of course, he did though. As he was pulling out of the embrace, he looked into Logan's eyes. Their arms were still wrapped around each other, and they were pulling apart when football hit James straight in the back of the head. That caused his face to go flying toward Logan, landing in a kiss. James was stunned. Logan was stunned. They didn't do anything. They just stayed there with their lips pressed against one another.

Then, they started hearing Kirsten and Camille.

They wrenched apart as quickly as possible, and went to opposite sides of the blanket. Thankfully, the girls had not seen them. They were too absorbed in their own conversation.

"Sure," said Kirsten as she handed Camille a buisiness card, "Just give her a call."

"Thanks," said Camille. She took the card, and they sat down.

When everybody had his/her ice cream, Kirsten asked to hear the robot-pirate joke. That snapped Logan up from his ice cream. Logan and James had made that joke up together.

"Right," he said, "It all starts with this ship..."


	13. Chapter 13

It had been a week since James and Logan kissed.

James couldn't get it out of his head. What had happened exactly? He knew that a football had hit him, but why? Had he wanted this to happen? He knew he wanted it to happen now, but what about before? He couldn't live with this stress; it was killing him. The worst part was that Logan refused to talk to him.

Eventually, he knew they had to talk, but when? That was when he decided he had to take this into his own hands.

The apartment was empty except for Logan siting on the coach watching "The Doctors." He didn't actually seem to be watching, though. He was contemplating intensely. James went up to get the remote and turned off the TV. He needed to know where they stood.

"Logan."

"Yeah, James."

He hadn't even turned his head to face him.

"What's going on?"

"I've been doing some thinking."

"About what?"

Logan looked like he was going to spill the mother-load of all secrets. He thought for a second, and he answered.

"You know Kirsten's old manager from New York?"

James did not know where this conversation was headed to.

"Yeah?"

"She just signed Camille. She's moving there tomorrow."

"Oh," said James, "Go on."

Logan stood. "Camille asked me if I'd like to have sex with her before she left. I'm thinking about it."

James's heart broke on the spot.

He patted Logan's arm.

"Have fun."

He left to find somewhere he could cry alone.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's note - So, I realized that this all sort of fits into one chapter, and I put it here! I'll be uploading the final chapter tomorrow when I upload the second chapter of Choose Your Own Adventure! Until then!  
**

* * *

James returned to 2J five hours later. Logan probably had plenty of time to go have sex with Camille by then, and he had to get ready for his date with Kirsten in an hour. Kirsten said they would just hang out by the pool, so James obviously needed swim trunks for that night's night swim (It was already 7 o'clock.)

"Oh, Logan!"

_Dear Lord_

James was almost to Logan's bedroom. He froze. Walking literally seemed thousands of light-years away from him at the moment.

_Would he? Would he really?_

James couldn't believe that Logan would stoop that low. He didn't think Logan **could** stoop that low.

_Was I really that wrong?_

He had to do it. The door was already half open. He walked. He looked.

He ran.

James would never forget the image of Logan giving head to Kendall in their bedroom.

* * *

James was so confused.

_What just happened?_

He might have understood Camille. Logan dated Camille. For Logan to hook up with another dude- Kendall- in their own apartment, James had to have been borderline insane. How could he have read all the signs wrong?

_The pet names? The sleeping together? The jokes? The hug? The kiss?_

James didn't know how he felt about Logan. He just couldn't figure out all of these emotions. He thought he loved him!

James could only think of one thing at that moment: _Kirsten._

James flew to Kirsten's apartment. He banged on the door, and she answered almost immediately in the bikini she was obviously wearing for their date.

He didn't care.

He pulled her in and kissed her for all he knew how. They slammed the door behind them, and Kirsten led him to the bed room. There, they got hot and heavy pretty quickly. Before he knew it, she was naked, and he hadn't even shed any clothes.

He stopped and took a step back.

Kirsten looked at him like he was crazy. She was a naked girl ready to have sex with him!

Then, James knew. He was gay, and he loved Logan. He didn't care what he had to do. Logan would be his if he never had sex at all.

* * *

James walked in to 2J. He walked over to Logan and Kendall's room slowly. He dreaded the sight he might have to witness for a second time.

They weren't there. He looked into his own room and found a large bundle underneath his blankets. He threw the blankets from his bed. There, Logan was.

He had been crying.

James took Logan up in his arms, and he said, "What's wrong, Logan?"

Logan looked him in the eye.

"James, I understand that you have no feelings for me. You wished me luck on having sex with Camille, but I have to say it: I'm in love with you!"

* * *

**Author's Note: One chapter to go! (Hint: There's a horrible twist.)**


	15. Chapter 15

James dropped Logan onto the bed. He didn't understand.

"If you love me, then why have sex with Camille?"

"I didn't! I was thinking about it! When we kissed, I was confused, and I didn't know what to do. Then, Camille said she was moving. She offered to have sex with me. I didn't know what to do. Afterward, I realized that I didn't want to have sex with her. I didn't want anything to do with her in that way. I love you."

James couldn't believe what he was hearing.

**How is he saying these things?**

James was close to tears again, and he had been crying all day. He had been crying over Logan all day! He didn't want to cry over Logan any more.

"In that case, why would you sleep with Kendall?" James asked.

Logan's eyes grew wide. "I swear I was going to tell you about that."

"Uh-huh," said James, fed up.

He stormed out of the room, leaving Logan on the bed. James was almost at the door to the hallway when Logan stopped him.

"I thought I had no chance with you!"

Logan was still in James and Carlos' room, but James heard him loud and clear. Logan poked his head out of the room. His face melted of all its burdens.

_He heard me. He stayed for me._

Logan walked up behind James, who had his back to Logan.

"I thought you had no feelings for me, so I thought I had to get over you as fast as possible."

"By sleeping with Kendall?" James' voice cracked.

"I only ever gave him oral sex, and I was pretending it was you the whole time," Logan admitted.

James turned and looked into Logan's soul. They had both been crying, so they both had bloodshot eyes. They were leaning in so slowly. Logan couldn't take it.

"I love you, James."

"I love yo-"

"Stop!"

The door shoved into James, knocking him into Logan, knocking James and Logan to the floor. Kendall and Carlos came bursting through the doorway, and they pulled the two from the ground and each other.

"Ow!" screamed James. His lip was bleeding, and he felt like he had bumped his head against something hard, like Logan's head.

Kendall had James restrained, and Carlos was doing the same to Logan. They seemed terrified.

"What are you doing?" screamed James, "Let us go!"

"No!" yelled Kendall.

"Have you two..." Carlos mumbled.

"Have we what, Carlos?" asked Logan, annoyed.

"Have you kissed yet?"

* * *

**(a/n) - Sorry for the delay! I've decided that I couldn't quite fit everything into this one last chapter, so there'll be one or two more. Actually, there has to be one because the twist is in everything else left. However, I might write an epilogue. Should I?Also, I'm taking a trip this week, so it might take a while. It'll definitely be updated by Monday!**


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